Dorka’s Neighborhood

It's the 18th of December, and that means that

• Christmas is just ONE WEEK AWAY! I'm starting to explode with excitement. Excitement over what I'll be getting for Christmas, yes, but more importantly, excitement over how excited and thrilled Alyssa and Ryan are going to be! We kicked ASS with present choices this year!
• My brothers have been in state custody for exactly fifteen months. Per state law, they're now eligible to be placed for adoption, unless the parents are making progress with doing all that they need to do to get them back. My mom IS doing that... mostly.
• I'm exactly one month out from my gastric bypass surgery! A month ago today I wasn't feeling nearly as awesome as I do now!

So, who's ready for Christmas? We're on top of everything this year. Christmas cards were mailed over two weeks ago, I already baked cookies for Dan to take to his co-workers, all of our presents (except gifts for Dan's aunts and uncle, eep!) are wrapped and under the tree, and we even took the kids to see Santa (usually we wait until last minute). I think this year's Santa photo turned out a LOT better than last year's:

My weight dropped to 262.8 yesterday, then up to 263.4 today. I'm assuming my period is just around the corner. I'm four days late, but considering I had major surgery that messed with my calorie intake, nutrition levels and hormones, I'm not surprised that it's MIA (psst... hey period? Feel free to stay MIA for a while!).
I'm still having vomiting issues. There's no rhyme or reason... just trapped air. One day I'll be great and not get sick at all. The next day I'll get sick at least once. The other day -- Tuesday, I think -- I threw up after EVERY SINGLE MEAL I ate that day. I also discovered that while I can easily tolerate very small portions of spaghetti, elbow macaroni and the rounded shells that are in Velveeta, ravioli is absolutely, positively a NO FUCKING WAY DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT JENNIFER. Despite chewing the bit I had into mush I had to throw it up, and it got STUCK. For about 0.02 seconds I was seriously afraid that I'd have to go to the hospital and get it endoscopically removed. Not cool, ravioli, not cool.

I have a bunch of videos from my Kodak Zi8 Pocket Video Camera to go through. I can't wait to get through them, because there are a few adorable ones of Ryan singing Christmas songs at his preschool Christmas party! ♥

I'm sure I'll have plenty of time to do that tomorrow, along with baking cookies (Alyssa wants to do holiday-shaped cookies, and Ryan can't wait to get his hands on sprinkles!) and writing, because we're supposed to get a colossal shit ton of snow dumped on us. Seriously... I'm talking a foot or more. Ugh. :(

Dude, what is UP with my child? That grin is positively evil!

Danielle and Matt spent the weekend (and part of Monday) with us, and on Sunday night the four of us met up with Jason at the bar we always go to. Dan's brother was there as well, though he was busy doing bar-related stuff. Anyway, we had a great time! Dan, Jason, Danielle and Matt had shots and a few drinks each, while I had several sips worth of a gummi bear in between several sips of water. Sadly, that's all it took to get a slight buzz going. But hey, for future reference I know that I'm a cheap date! ;)

• My favorite coat from last year is going to be donated, because it hangs on me like a tent.


• I have two 44 bras, and they're both on the tightest row of hooks and are still a bit loose.


• Last night Dan pointed out that my underwear is flapping in the breeze (sorry for the mental image).


• I'm wearing the same two pairs of pants (and washing them to death) because all of my other ones fall right off of me.


• I'm rotating through a collection of six or so tops, because the others hang like tarps, or fall off of my shoulders.


• My favorite wool coat (a gift from Dan wayyyyyyyyyy back in 2002) fits perfectly! ♥

In summary, I feel fantastic. No regrets whatsoever!

Last week I wrote a review about a sex toy from Eden Fantasys. Now, just in time for the holidays, Eden Fantasys and I have teamed up to offer one lucky person a $50 gift card!

Eden Fantasys specializes in sex toys for men, women and couples, as well as a nice selection of sex toy accessories, sensual products, lingerie, condoms, lubricants, DVDs, books, movies, and even favors and gags for parties. So whatever your style, you're sure to find something that interests you on their website. High quality products, unbiased ratings and reviews, and discreet shipping make for a great experience with Eden Fantasys.

Giveaway Details

Eden Fantasys is giving away a $50 gift card good for any purchase on their website. The giveaway is open to anyone in the United States and Canada.

How to Enter

You must leave a comment on this blog entry that mentions your favorite product from Eden Fantasys.

You can earn additional entries (one each) by doing the following:

• Tweet the following on your public Twitter account: jenn.nu is giving away a $50 gift card to Eden Fantasys! http://tinyurl.com/eden50


• Blogging about the giveaway on your blog. Include a link to Eden Fantasys (edenfantasys.com) and this blog entry

Deadline

The $50 Eden Fantasys gift card giveaway begins today, December 13th, 2009, and ends on December 18th, 2009 at 11:59pm EST. At that point a winner will be randomly selected and contacted. I'll announce the winner on jenn.nu on Saturday afternoon.

Good luck to everyone who enters! :)

Last week I wrote a review about a sex toy from Eden Fantasys. Now, just in time for the holidays, Eden Fantasys and I have teamed up to offer one lucky person a $50 gift card!

Eden Fantasys specializes in sex toys for men, women and couples, as well as a nice selection of sex toy accessories, sensual products, lingerie, condoms, lubricants, DVDs, books, movies, and even favors and gags for parties. So whatever your style, you're sure to find something that interests you on their website. High quality products, unbiased ratings and reviews, and discreet shipping make for a great experience with Eden Fantasys.

Giveaway Details

Eden Fantasys is giving away a $50 gift card good for any purchase on their website. The giveaway is open to anyone in the United States and Canada.

How to Enter

You must leave a comment on this blog entry.

You can earn additional entries (one each) by doing the following:

• Tweet the following on your public Twitter account: jenn.nu is giving away a $50 gift card to Eden Fantasys! http://tinyurl.com/eden50


• Blogging about the giveaway on your blog. Include a link to Eden Fantasys (edenfantasys.com) and this blog entry

Deadline

The $50 Eden Fantasys gift card giveaway begins today, December 13th, 2009, and ends on December 18th, 2009 at 11:59pm EST. At that point a winner will be randomly selected and contacted. I'll announce the winner on jenn.nu on Saturday afternoon.

Good luck to everyone who enters! :)

I finally saw New Moon last week. I had purchased tickets for the debut showing at 11:59pm on November 19th, 2009, but then my surgery was scheduled for November 18th, 2009, and I'm not Twihard enough to postpone surgery for the Twilight saga. Sorry, Edward. Anyway, Jason and I enjoyed a quiet 7:30pm showing. The theater was empty when we got there, so we picked the very top center seats, and maybe 6-8 other people trickled in after that. Obviously New Moon has been seen an re-seen by the fanatics.
I thought the acting and dramatics were much better in this movie, though Kristen Stewart needs to lighten up and learn how to actually show emotion. Robert Pattinson was quite yummy as always, and if it weren't for Taylor Lautner's age, I'm sure I'd be lusting after him, too. ;)

While we were at the theater Jason gave me two New Moon water bottles. Besides being pretty cool since they feature Edward and Jacob, they're useful, since I need to sip water all day long. Gone forever are the days of guzzling down 6-8 ounces of water like it's nothing. I now have to sip, sip, sip. So I bring water with me everywhere. I even keep a bottle of water next to our bed, so if I wake up during the night I can take another few sips of water. Dehydration isn't something to play around with!

Right now I'm making breakfast for Dan, myself, Ryan (Alyssa is at my mom's for the weekend), and Danielle and Matt, who are visiting with us for the weekend. They arrived on Friday evening, and we met up at Applebee's for dinner (ground beef from a burger and steak from a steak tower for me) before coming back here. Yesterday morning my mom came by to pick up Ryan, as she wanted to take both the kids down to the Please Touch Museum in Philadelphia. I was more than happy to enjoy a completely free-kid day. :) After watching some TV, Danielle, Matt and I went out to the grocery store to pick up food for last night and today, and then went over to the mall. Hello Sephora, Victoria's Secret and New York & Co.! After that we stopped by Target so I could exchange a too-small camera case I picked up for my new Kodak Zi8 pocket video camera, and while we were there Danielle and I found cute silver purses (matching, lol), and I unexpectedly finished up Christmas shopping for Alyssa and Ryan.

When we got home it was close to 6:00pm, and my mom wasn't back yet with the kids. We watched The Hangover. Or should I say, they watched it. I watched about half of it, and then went and laid down for a bit because I felt so tired and drug out from all of the walking we did in the mall and Target. This surgery has taken a lot out of me in terms of just being able to endure walking around and doing everyday things. It's kind of pathetic. :/

We had dinner around 9:00pm -- late because Dan put everything together in our crock pot and cooked it on slow (I should have told him to put it on high. Oh well!). Unfortunately, dinner did not work out for me. I was talking too much while I was eating, and inhaled way too much air. I threw up once, then had to throw up again, and finally went back a third time and forced myself to throw up everything in my stomach pouch so I could start over. Only at that point my stomach pouch was aching from the heaving, so I said screw it to dinner and drank some water instead. Of course I woke up ravenous this morning, well, ravenous in terms of my stomach pouch hurting and me feeling like total weaksauce, but I'm sipping a warmed chocolate protein shake as I write this, so that is definitely helping.

It's raining today, and the three of us are all shopped out, so I think we're just going to lounge around the house all day. Emphasis on the lounging. All of us, Dan and Ryan included, are still in our pajamas! :lol:

This week, my fourteen year old brother

• had to write the same sentence over 200 times


• has to write that same sentence another 200 times this weekend


• lost all of his privileges, including the "privilege" of eating snacks


• was not allowed to call me

Why? Because I sent him a Christmas card.

Yes, cue the shocked gasps and looks of horror. My brother, who had no clue I was even planning on sending him a Christmas card, was read the riot act and punished by his foster father because I had the audacity to mail him a Christmas card.

I. AM. LIVID.

Seriously, it was a motherfucking Christmas card. And you know what? I got the address from my mother, who has at least twenty different documents with it and the foster father's full name and telephone number plastered all over it.

Jesus. What would this guy have done if I mailed my brothers cookies and a little Christmas care package, as I originally intended on doing next week?

I've already emailed the state agency that oversees the foster placement, and I plan on attending a visit with my brothers on Tuesday so I can do a little riot act reading of my own (to the foster father & the state agency). The state agency social workers think I'm aggressive? Those bitches obviously don't realize I've been on good behavior around them. They're going to get plenty of aggression come Tuesday.

Let me repeat: I. AM. LIVID. I am literally shaking with anger. That's my baby brother. You do NOT fuck with him, especially over something so innocent and ridiculously trivial as a motherfucking Christmas card that he didn't even know about until it showed up in the mailbox.

Last week Eden Fantasys contacted me to find out if I would be interested in reviewing any of their products (well, almost any; there was a price limit). Of course I said yes. ;) I'm no stranger to sex toys. I had my first vibrator when I was fifteen years old, and it wasn't long after Dan and I started having sex that we incorporated them into our sex life.

So anyway, I chose the Platinum jack rabbit. I asked for silver, as I am definitely not a gold person (the only gold jewelry I own and wear is my engagement ring and wedding band!). True to their word, Eden Fantasys shipped out the product right away, in a well-padded and packaged box that gave no indication as to what type of company shipped the box or what type of product was inside.

My first impression of the Platinum jack rabbit is that it is definitely a big improvement over a much earlier model (2002ish) rabbit that I had several years ago. That one was a weird salmon red color, with cheap looking multi-colored balls inside the shaft. Worst of all was the remote control -- it was attached via a bulky spiraling cord (the same type of cord you could expect to find on a rotary telephone). The control itself was large and bulky, and required two D batteries. So in addition to the sheer size of the remote, there was also the weight of the batteries inside of it!

So back to the Platinum jack rabbit. Up close and personal it looks just like it did in pictures on Eden Fantasy's website. I was slightly deterred by the super-light feel of the base of the sex toy, but got over that quickly enough when I realized less weight means less strain on my hands, or Dan's for that matter. ;)
Also? The Platinum jack rabbit takes four AA batteries. Sure, that's twice the amount of batteries, but we keep loads of AA batteries in this house, whereas we don't really have much of a use for D batteries.

Controls. It was easy to figure out the controls for the Platinum jack rabbit. On one side are increasing/decreasing buttons for the vibrating rabbit ears (meant to stimulate the clitoris), and on the other are increasing/decreasing buttons for the balls that rotate in the shaft of the rabbit. There's also an OFF button beneath the two sets of controls, so if things are getting to be too much or you're just done, you can quickly shut everything off.

The Platinum jack rabbit has an insertable length of five inches, which is more than enough to get a solo job done, and plenty to provide some pre-sex fun if you're using the toy with a partner. The circumference is five and a quarter inches, which is also quite nice. The shaft is molded to resemble an actual penis, completely with a well-defined head, ridge and slightly textured shaft. Also, the widest section of the Platinum jack rabbit doesn't occur until you reach the beads, so initial penetration shouldn't be uncomfortable for beginners.

What makes the Platinum jack rabbit so fun, besides the decently sized shaft and rotating beads, is the molded rabbit & long rabbit ears that provide vibrations and general pressure-type stimulation to the clitoris. The vibration can be set to be steady or pulsating, at varying speeds.

Usage. The Platinum jack rabbit is incredibly easy to use. The controls are straightforward, well-marked and spaced apart enough so that the wrong button isn't accidentally hit. I tried out the toy both solo and with Dan. It makes for a very fun solo experience. Those rotating beads on the shaft? I didn't think they'd do that much, considering that most of the nerve endings are found in the clitoris and immediately surrounding area, but the feel of the beads moving around definitely enhanced the experience. And of course I'm a fan of direct clitoral stimulation, which the rabbit ears provided easily enough. The fact that they separate -- and thus could be placed on either side of the clit, rather than directly against -- also spices things up.

Most guys get off on watching girls pleasure themselves, and my husband is no exception. He really enjoyed watching me play with the Platinum jack rabbit, and was more than happy to lend a helping hand.

Summary. I'm really happy with the Platinum jack rabbit. It's a lot of fun to use, and I'm pretty sure it's my new favorite toy. The fact that it uses AA batteries is very convenient (for me, anyway), and its lightweight build makes it easy to use (no hand or wrist strain here!). It's waterproof, so washing it is easy since I don't have to worry about getting water on electrical parts. Bring on the submersion! The controls are easy to use and provide many pleasurable levels of vibrations and pulsations, and the size of the shaft is just right. The bunny ears are a little long, but every woman is built differently, and excess ears can be angled up and out to lay against the labia (also fun!).
I definitely give this toy five out of five stars, and I'd say it's well worth the money -- especially right now, when it's on sale for $54 instead of $83!

I don't know what's with me and my lack of blogging as of late, but it's quite annoying, and I'm hoping to get back with blogging regularly this week. I'd start tonight, except I'm very tired and feeling like crap (cold and the accompanying fever; surgery-wise I'm doing fine), so I'll just write out a list of bullets to appease myself (and perhaps you guys!) and call it a night.

• Why am I still sick? I was sick the week prior to surgery, had my period the week of surgery, and have been sick since three days after surgery. The four of us went to the doctor's office last week, only to be told all four of us have a variety of viruses that can't really be treated.
• My weight is bouncing between 266 and 268. I know that stalls happen, but so early out from surgery?
• I'm having trouble with my dinner meal -- the one I have between 5:00pm and 8:00pm. I get air trapped in my stomach pouch, but I don't know it's there until I eat. I can't seem to move the air past the food to burp, so I have to vomit a bit of it back out. This has happened four times now. Grrrr.
• I'm wearing the same three pairs of pants because all of the other ones are falling off of me, and I'm too cheap to buy new pants every time I drop a size or two. Needless to say, I'm doing laundry left and right in order to have clean pants to wear!
• I can eat turkey, chicken, ground beef, ground beef seasoned for tacos, all the fixings for a taco minus the shell, mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, soup, American, Swiss, mozzarella and reduced-fat pepperjack cheese, cream of wheat, pancakes (homemade low-fat variety), bits of dry cereal, a chocolate chip cookie (this I space out over a half hour period and eat only after having something else in my stomach first!), fat-free and sugar-free vanilla pudding, and plain and strawberry applesauce!
• Alyssa and Ryan are very excited about Christmas, especially since we finally put up our Christmas tree on Sunday!
• Speaking of Christmas, I received an Urban Decay gift card from my Lavish Secret Santa!
• Jason came by tonight with Christmas presents for Dan and I: Guitar Hero 5 for Dan and a Kodak Zi8 for me!
• Lane Bryant sent me a $50 gift card to use towards the purchase of any of their new holiday line of clothing. I bought this awesome silver top and a red crocheted shrug. Now I need to put the review together for In My Bag.
• Speaking of reviews, I'm also going to be reviewing a sex toy for Eden Fantasys. The review will be posted here on jenn.nu behind a cut (and a disclaimer), but still... sex toy... review. You have been warned, heh.

And... that's about it for tonight. Goodnight!